What if you regret getting married

Help, he regrets not marrying 'ME'

Hello dear Urbis,

unfortunately I have to write anonymously today, because otherwise 'ER' will still be recognized

sorry a little longer ...

well yeah, I know a man there, so I (29) have known him (29) since kindergarten. We have always got along very well. then didn't have much contact for a few years, unfortunately. Everyone went their own way.

About 4.5 years ago we saw each other again, it was great and somehow both of them sparked a lot. Unfortunately, he was just about to part with his former partner and I coincidentally also with my ex-partner. We weren't single for long, but it got to the point where we had something. It was a wonderful time, but since we hadn't been separated from our partners for long and we didn't want our relationship to suffer as a result, we didn't enter into a relationship with one another at first.
It hurt me a lot at the time, but it just wasn't the right time for us

He kept asserting that I'm very close to his heart, but because of his past relationship he was very confused at the time ..
As it happens First I distracted myself, it hurt a lot, and then I met a man, I fell in love and we also got together.
So we had no contact again ... that was last spring, when we last saw each other ..
So I was with my partner and I was relatively happy until a few months ago. But I have separated from him. Unfortunately it wasn't the right one ..!
2 weeks after my separation I saw him again by accident.
We were both very happy about it, chatted briefly and he told me that he was going to get married soon ....
He showed me his engagement ring .. It hurt me iwi, but made and played the cool one and congratulated him. Iwi but I noticed that there was something wrong. I really indulged him, but he hadn't even been with this woman for a year and then got married !!??
When we said goodbye, he said he would get in touch, then we can go for a coffee ... well, my own dream man, married, sitting in front of me, I didn't imagine that tingling
Since he added me on Facebook a few weeks after the meeting, well ... I was of course confronted with the wedding pictures ...
Even if it always gave me a little stab, I always allowed him to do it. Really. I thought, hey, it's probably the right one for him, I love him very much ... at least one of us is under the hood and happy, one day I will definitely be too ...
The two married in February ...
I didn't hear from him until a few days ago, when the absolute worst-case scenario struck here

Last Monday (a week ago) my cell phone rang. HE !! Unsuspecting, I went there and greeted him. He made me very happy too. He said if I had time to see how I was doing and he had to tell me something .. I said, ok, I'll get in touch with him the days if it suits me.
Then on Wednesday I had a very strange gut feeling and reported to him, whereupon he asked if I would not feel like having a coffee in the evening.
Well, I thought to myself, and we met.
He stood in front of me (I didn't know anything ) and suddenly had very wet eyes
He said she was not doing well. not since the wedding !!
Suddenly she no longer had a job, nor did she care. She has debts and she doesn't care about them either. He has to run after her in almost everything ..!
She has probably also messed with his mother, so that both are supposed to be totally at odds. His parents have not come to visit since then.
TJaaaa, sexually it was a disaster with her. She was Turkish but born in Germany and was very western, but a virgin !! He said he had never believed her, he never wanted a virgin either, but he noticed after the wedding that she was apparently really one! He is also Turkish, but very, very German, born here, also speaks Bavarian dialect, he is really an exception .. !!
He said she was with her mother in Turkey at the moment, and she came on the weekend. back again.
he doesn't know how to go on, he won't be happy that way.
he said there are 2 things he bitterly regrets in his life ...
1. that he married her, and
2. that he didn't marry me!

I stood before him as if slain! I would NEVER have expected it!
he was so desperate, he held me tight again and again ... he said he wants me to be happy ... !!!
He thinks seriously about separation and divorce, not only because of me, no, but because he is almost certain that he will never be that happy ...!
I couldn't advise him much, well what should I say, I can't advise him to divorce, I just don't have the right !!
I just said ... I am always there for him ... he should see that it works again, maybe?! He was so desperate and he gave what felt like 100,000 reasons why it would work better for us
.... we stayed in such a way that he reports when he feels like I will stand by him when he needs me, needs my advice ... I can't do more than that ?!
I can understand that he is in a bad situation, but the information wasn't easy for me either .....
He drove home ..... I brooded a lot, it totally broke down on me, I would never have expected something like that ... !!
on the following 2 days he called me at night, very carefully ... he couldn't sleep! we talked a lot again and I noticed more and more how finished he is ... I always tried to build it up ..!
Well, in any case, his wife came back on the weekend. he said he will now try to talk to her again, that some things have to change etc ... and if that doesn't work he'll split up. He also said that he had the feeling that she was sitting in the nest that he had made, of course he didn't want that .. !!
He couldn't write to me when she was back, but he would call me if he could !!
That's how we stayed.

I've been sitting since we. here with my `super information 'of course I don't hear anything from him .. so much is going through my head !! what is he doing? does it work for them? What about me now I'm single, what if I get to know someone now and get into a relationship again, and the same thing starts all over again, so he is free and I forgive again ??? !! I always had the feeling he was the right person, but unfortunately it was a stupid time back then ... well, great and now he's married, and regrets it ... now he wants me ...
Sure, he apparently made a big mistake. Married way too fast and now he's in a mess ...
ask me when he will get in touch again, iwi miss him again ... blame me for it because he is married !!! I would never start anything with him as long as he is still in a relationship!

I also told him that I feel like 'B' goods
he was very shocked about that and begged me not to think like that !!
I don't know ... maybe there was something else behind it that he married so quickly ?? !! I do not know...
Stand there now with your hair down and don't even know how to deal with it ... !!
If I get to know someone now, then I will definitely have him in my head which is clear ... just what if he separates ... I always wished that we were together .. with the family there would never have been any problems .. !!

... and who knows when he'll get back to you, in the end it'll work out with them, and I've saved myself ?!
.. But I know one thing from my own experience, if it doesn't work out sexually, it's a relationship killer!.. Unfortunately, I already had to make the experience ...

I grant him his luck !! But I also loved him very much for a long time ... and that doesn't leave me without a trace ...

Sorry for so much
Thanks for many answers ..
lovely wishes....