Can broken people turn into really bad people
12 sad signs you're too broken to accept love
First, let's define the word “broken”.
Over the years I have learned that there are some people who, for one reason or another, are unable to have a relationship. While they are capable of feeling love, they may be attractive, in the long run they always end up alone or in terribly unhealthy relationships. I call these people "Broken".
They are too broken to love because they don't know or are unable to properly deal with their partners or understand how relationships should work. For the most part, dates with such people will be great, but they are incapable of binding or leading to a serious relationship.
In other cases, they have serious emotional problems that they need to resolve before they can enter into a relationship. Still, most of them only have exceptionally toxic beliefs about love, dating, or the opposite sex.
Broken people are the ones who hit, abuse, cheat, or even rape their spouse. These are people who have big problems and hurt other people. These types of people are not happy at all, deep down.
But they are not even able to see that they are the reason why they are always alone. Or if it is the case that they know, they refuse to believe it.
In this case, there is both good news and bad news. The good news is that you can work on yourself and actually get better, even if you are too broken to love or be in a healthy relationship. Plus, you can tell if you're too broken to date someone else.
The bad news is that you will have to work very hard on yourself when you recognize the following signs on your own:
1. Every time you hear a love song or see a happy couple, you get angry or upset.
I've been in a situation like this before and believe me, it's a horrible feeling. The thing is, this just shows how much negative energy and pain you have inside of you. Unfortunately, being hurt this way means that you actually need to become a better person before others can feel the desire to be with you.
2. The claims you have are nowhere near what you have to offer.
I think it's important to focus on our partner's goals, career and character. However, I'll be the first to say that today's dating culture is incredibly superficial.
If you have an idea of what your partner should look like, such as being very successful and looking good while you're broke, having problems, and not looking like a top model, your toxic ideas about a happy relationship.
3. You complained that every woman only wants a relationship with an idiot, or you messed with a man because he didn't want to date you after you became friends with him.
This is called "Nice Guy Syndrome" and is in truth a sign of entitlement as well as a lack of social awareness. In this case one cannot argue about attraction.
Trying to force someone to like you just because you gave them a shoulder to cry on or became friends with won't work and often borders on abuse. Nobody purposely chooses partners who will hurt them or avoid someone just because they are "too nice". Most likely, the reason they aren't interested in you may be because they recognize your low self-esteem.
You may have acquired this belief through nonsensical romantic comedies, so - as a victim of such a situation - you should perhaps seek good therapy. Women want nice guys, but not guys who are too nice just to get a date or to get them to bed.
4. You choose your potential partner based on who other people would like to see you with, rather than who you know you might be happy with.
I am faced with such cases every day. Ultimately, this just shows that you are lacking in self-esteem and worry more about pleasing other people outside of the relationship than about the quality of your relationship.
No relationship that emerges from such a situation is a good one, so take a step back and talk to a therapist about why you are seeking approval from other people.
5. You hit, berated, or otherwise abused your partner.
Abuse is the number one sign that you're too broken to be in a relationship. If your ex boyfriend kept telling you that you were abusing him, then perhaps you should ask yourself what makes you hurt the people who care about you.
6. You don't really see your potential partners as human beings.
What I mean by that is that you don't see them as individuals with their own feelings, needs, lives and dreams. Many people who are seriously emotionally broken consider the opposite sex to be an enemy. Ask yourself if you see your partner as an enemy because maybe it is time to really rethink the way you deal with dating.
7. Many people have told you that the way you behave is unacceptable or that you need help.
When you hear these words from an ex, they may be trying to manipulate you. But what if you hear this from ex-boyfriends, family members, or strangers? Perhaps this could mean that you have a problem that you don't want to admit. In this case, therapy could work wonders.
8. Your parents control your life.
The first thing I want to say is that there is nothing wrong with being close to your family. But it's not okay for you to allow your family to destroy your relationships. It is also bad when you find out that your parents are in some way preventing you from growing as a person or not allowing you to live your own life.
If your parents dictate who to date and interfere in your relationship, that's a problem. If you allow this, then you are broken and it is time to get help.
9. All people tend to avoid you.
I've been in a situation like this before and I can tell you it's really not fun. It's not fun to hear what I'm going to tell you next either.
In general, there's one simple reason people avoid you. So, you may have to be considerate of your social skills to see what's going on. Fortunately, you're never too old to learn how to be better with people.
10. You feel the need to punish people for their mistakes.
I've been in a situation like this several times. You probably know this is the wrong way to deal with people. You are also probably aware that you will end up feeling bad because you will ultimately have to answer to the people you have hurt.
Injured people hurt other people, but if you go through life with a sword, you will be hurt by it too. If you find this happening in your life, talk to a therapist and avoid going out. Because such behavior is not good for you or the people you date.
11. You know you have problems attaching or leaving.
You can't live in a relationship like that. Because of this, it's time to find help and work on your problems before you even think about starting a relationship with another person.
12. People regularly say that you refuse to take responsibility for your own problems, and to some point you know this is true.
Responsibility is very important when it comes to having a relationship that works. If you can't admit guilt, you will end up blaming your partner for all of the bad things.
This is a sign of a personality disorder and behavior that is quite intolerable. If you want your next relationship to last, start admitting your mistakes and working to make things better.
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