How do you deal with recurring anger

Let go of your anger: 5 tips

#Psyche on October 25, 2018 updated on January 20, 2020

Do you get annoyed quickly if things don't go smoothly at work or at home? Are you sorry afterwards? Use these five tips to learn how to control your anger.

So you have your anger under control

  • Take a deep breath. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and slowly count to ten in your mind. You are also welcome to repeat a word or a sentence like: “I don't mind” or “It's just a feeling”. This will help you calm down and then think about an appropriate response. The 3-7-8 breathing exercise is also helpful: inhale for three counts, hold your breath for seven counts, and exhale for eight.
  • Go out. If you feel the anger rising inside you, apologize briefly and leave the room for a few minutes. It's best to take a few steps outside to let off steam. Get some fresh air if possible.
  • Knead the stress ball. Whether at home or in the office. Instead of hitting the table with your fist or screaming in anger, prepare a stress ball or other object that you can easily knead. So you can channel the anger and nobody gets it.
  • Trigger cold shock. A strong physical stimulus can distract you from the anger. Not too bad and also good to use in the office, for example: Let cold water run over your forearms. You can also rub yourself down with ice cubes at home.
  • Stop thoughts. If the anger is on the rise, you can consciously say “STOP” - in your mind or out loud. Imagine a bright red stop sign and let the angry thoughts go. Then focus back on what's coming up.

Our tips don't help you? Then relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation according to Jacobson, Qigong or mindfulness meditation can help you keep your emotions in check. However, it is important to practice regularly - for example in an AOK course.

When others take out their anger on you

There are people so-called choleric people who freak out, scream and insult immediately at every little thing. But instead of yelling back, only one thing helps: keep calm and curb yourself so that an outburst does not escalate. For this you need calmness and strategies in dealing with choleric people. And most importantly, don't take the outburst personally. Because often there are completely different causes behind failures, such as insecurity, private or professional problems.


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