Why did you lose faith in someone
Why love never works without trust
Love without trust is not love. Love without trust, on the other hand, is compulsion, fear and uncertainty.
A relationship without trust is doomed to fail. Sooner or later. Unless you do something about it and work together to create trust and make the relationship a whole lot nicer.
In addition, I also have a very good book recommendation for you: “The measurement of love: trust and betrayal in couple relationships”.
Love without trust - why is that so?
We are not born with distrust in love. It can come for a variety of reasons. The most important and common are these:
- You have been badly injured in a previous relationship
- You have been badly disappointed in your current relationship
- One was lied to in the circle of friends
- Already in the family there were always disappointments and hurts in love
- One was generally brought up to be a very suspicious and suspicious person
Therefore, you should think carefully about why you cannot trust in your relationship. You can see for yourself, there are always several options and in very few cases it is the current partner's own fault.
If your current partner has seriously injured you, you are of course more than justified to be disappointed. Let alone trust him. Of course, you first have to think about whether you can forgive and trust your partner again.
If your partner gives you no reason to distrust him, of course, you should think about why you are still suspicious and jealous (normal writing with friends, work colleagues or even old classmates, for example, is no reason - even if they are from the other person Gender).
Above all, you should first realize that in this case it is really up to you and not your partner. Ask yourself the following questions and write down a few answers:
- Why can't i trust
- Do I even want to be able to trust completely?
- What can I change myself to have more trust?
- How can my partner support me to create more trust?
- Can my friends help me with this?
- Can a neutral person who is a professional in this field help me?
But why is trust so important in love anyway?
Trust in a relationship is and is one of the most important components of a partnership. Or rather, to the pillars of a relationship. Through mutual trust you show your partner and vice versa how much you accept each other and believe your words!
When you trust your partner, you can become much more involved in the relationship and grow closer together than ever before. You see the relationship as something wonderful and not something that always brings trouble with it. This opens up completely new possibilities that make a partnership something very special and fantastic.
But trust is not only important for love itself, but also for yourself! Being able to trust your partner has a lot to do with your own self-confidence. Because if you lack a certain amount of self-confidence and self-love, then you will never be able to trust your partner completely. As a result, negative thoughts will keep coming up.
Why love without trust is the coffin nail for any relationship
Due to the different experiences of injuries and disappointments, the fear of letting a partner get closer to you again naturally increases. This is an absolutely natural reaction that everyone carries within themselves and is perfectly good that way. After a lot of pain, we don't want to get involved again with something that has already hurt us.
The result: We build up our own protective mechanism. But if you don't notice in time when it's time to shut down this protective mechanism, it is usually too late. You don't give yourself a real chance to trust other people anymore. Proximity and security become a foreign word.
You feel lonelier and sadder over time. It is extremely important to understand that we cannot punish anyone for just being hurt by someone completely different. Everyone deserves a chance. Would you like to get this chance yourself?
In addition, you start to like to assume and see things to your partner that are actually not there. You get extremely into certain things, although there is often no real reason to do so. The end result is jealousy because of the lack of trust. The good parts of the relationship, on the other hand, are very easily overlooked!
Instead, you go in search of mistakes and reasons not to trust your partner. The only thing you can achieve with it: distance. Distance to the person you really want to share your life with.
You might be wondering why I know about it so well? Well, it was no different for me in the past. I was extremely disappointed and was initially unable to maintain my current relationship with Marco. For me there was no trust at the time, only mistrust.
Love without trust - our tips against it!
So that it doesn't come to that, here are a few tips to finally declare war on love without trust. These tips have also helped me extremely to be able to increase my confidence again.
1. Sole and joint activities:
First of all, it is important for you to protect your own interests. This increases your self-esteem and you cling less to your partner. So go out and do something alone with your friends. Not all the time, but once a week shouldn't be a problem. You will notice that it is good for you and your relationship, even if it can be pretty difficult at the beginning.
Nonetheless, common interests and activities with the partner are just as important. This brings you closer to each other and it bonds you together enormously. The important thing is that it has to be fun and enjoyable for you and your partner as well. Create common interests to find each other again.
2. Openness and honesty:
In addition to trust, these two points are among the most important characteristics of a fulfilled relationship. Always be open and honest with your partner. If something is bothering you, tell him and try not to eat it up. That only makes things worse.
Of course, you can and should expect the same from your partner. In doing so, you show each other your needs. That means you can respond to each other better, work together on solutions and increase the trust base of the relationship again.
3. Let your feelings run free:
I don't mean screaming angrily around and insulting your partner to the point of bloodshed. Nobody wants something like that in a relationship. Rather, it means showing the partner openly when an action has hurt you. So your partner knows right away if he has gone too far and can apologize for it. And if you ever have to cry, do it.
The same applies here: Don't eat anything! Over time, everything builds up and at some point it just has to be out. These are mostly the situations that you should avoid in any case and that were already briefly mentioned earlier: shouting, insulting, breaking objects!
The same applies to positive feelings. If you just want to tell your significant other how good you are today or how happy you are right now, then do so! If there are two of you and you just want to share what you are feeling, then it has nothing to do with kitsch, it's just your innermost feelings. It will come back, I promise. If not, it's the wrong partner.
4.Letting go of the past:
If you are unable to build and lose trust because you were hurt in a previous relationship, then you need to fully realize that your new partner is not the same as it was back then. You have to learn to deal with the past.
I know this is easier said than done, but it definitely is possible! In my relationship with Marco, I could not trust 100% at the beginning and was afraid of getting hurt again.
But it was the best decision for me to choose against a love without trust and to work hard on myself. So do something good for yourself and your relationship and let go of the past!
5. Take your time:
Disappointments and injuries run deep and cannot be easily blown away. It can therefore take a long time to build trust again. Therefore, it is very important for you to take the necessary time and not put yourself under pressure.
Just talk openly about it with your partner. If your partner is serious about you and you are important to him, he will also give you the time you need.
How about you Do you have a big problem with trust? Do you have a few good tips of your own that absolutely have to be included?
Note: This post contains our personal product recommendations with so-called affiliate links. Don't worry: it won't make the products any more expensive. If you buy something through one of these links, we get a small commission. You support us by keeping Love and Compass alive and by regularly publishing useful content for you. Many thanks and lots of love for it!
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