Protestant fathers may marry

Wedding dress: should I get married in a white wedding dress or not?

Why not? There are no binding dress code for an evangelical wedding. In the past, for example, a pregnant bride was not allowed to wear a white dress. The white dress was a sign of virginity. It has largely lost this importance today.


Moving in: The bride's father wants to take his daughter to church and hand it over to the groom. Does the Reformed Church know this custom?

This originally Germanic custom also found its way into the Protestant churches. He is burdened by the patriarchal world of ideas from which he comes: women are the property of men. The new owner takes his property from the father's hand.

However, one might assume that this makes it easier for some fathers to break away from their daughter. Make arrangements with your pastor, with your pastor.

Divorced: Can I be married in church even though I am divorced?

Yes. It's always a sad thing when a marriage fails. To be guilty, to feel guilty is an issue. When divorced people want to be married again, they always express the desire for a new beginning. God can and will give new beginnings.

In a wedding interview, a piece of the previous life story is therefore always the topic.

Church membership: I am a member of the Protestant Church, my partner is Catholic. Can we get married in church?

Yes.

Church membership: I am a member of the Protestant Church, my partner has left a Christian church or does not belong to any Christian denomination. Can we get married in church?

Generally, yes. In any case, the non-Christian partner should show a lot of respect and tolerance for his Christian spouse. But that is probably also a question that should be discussed in the wedding interview with the pastor.

Church Membership: We're both not in the church. Can we still get married in church?

No, unfortunately that will not work.

Cost: What does the wedding in the church cost?

You have to pay for the organist's playing on the organ (currently € 25) and the work of the sexton (currently € 10). You have to organize special church decorations including your wishes for altar flowers.


Ecumenism: We want to marry ecumenically. What does it mean exactly?

Ecumenically, newlyweds who belong to different Christian denominations can marry. An ecumenical wedding is formally either an evangelical wedding with Catholic approval or a Catholic wedding. The wedding usually follows the service of the denomination in whose church the wedding takes place. The wedding ceremony is usually led by a pastor of the spouse.

If the marriage takes place in the Protestant church under the direction of the Protestant pastor, the Catholic partner needs written permission from his pastor (dispensation).

Ecumenism: Are there provisions for the denomination of children in a marriage of different denominations?

The Protestant Church has no such provisions.

Ecumenism: My partner belongs to another Christian denomination (free church or similar). Can we get married in church?

Yes, as long as the partner can take part in the evangelical wedding with a clear conscience and accepts and respects the evangelical partner's wish for a church wedding.

Ecumenism: I am Protestant, my partner is Catholic. Can we get married evangelically?

Yes. If both want an evangelical wedding. Then the Roman Catholic spouse should be aware that he / she can lose rights of the Roman Catholic Church (e.g. exclusion from the Eucharist) without "Catholic permission" (dispensation).


Civil registry office: At what interval should civil and church weddings follow?

The church wedding always takes place after the civil ceremony. A copy of the marriage certificate from the registry office must be available before the church wedding.

Wedding service: Are there any dress codes for church weddings?

No. The clothes should be festive. The original meaning of the virginity of the white wedding dress has become questionable. But it is still a festive garment that is appropriate for this special day.

Wedding service: Can relatives and friends participate in the wedding in the church?

Yes. Participation can be varied: Participation in the liturgy, in the musical design or in the design of the decoration of the church, e.g. Discuss the possibilities with your pastor and clarify special content-related contributions with him / her.


Wedding service: What is the process of a wedding service?

You will discuss the process of the wedding service in detail in the wedding interview with the pastor. This gives you security and puts you in the mood for the church celebration.

Wedding service - moving in: The bride's father should hand the bride over to the groom in the front of the church. Is that possible?

In principle, that is possible. However, it should be remembered that this custom is linked to a certain image of women that has largely become obsolete in our time. The daughter is seen as the "possession" of the father, who with this act gives her into the "possession" of the husband.

Wedding service - moving in: Is there a tradition of how the bride and groom go in and out of the church?

Usually the bride goes to the groom's right. This is of course not a requirement.

Wedding service - moving in: How does the wedding party take a seat in the church?

The wedding congregation usually takes a seat in front of the bride and groom in the church. After the ringing of the bells, the bride and groom and the pastor move into the church. It is nice when the whole wedding congregation gets up to it.

Wedding service - who bears the costs for special musical design?

If you want musical contributions to your wedding that go beyond the usual scope, you have to pay the extra costs personally with the musicians who have been appointed.

Wedding service - music: Who makes music at our wedding?

Usually the organist of our parish. If you would like special music, please discuss your wishes with the pastor of your wedding ceremony.

Wedding service - music: We are looking for suggestions for songs

Our new evangelical church hymn book has numerous songs that are particularly suitable for weddings.

Wedding service - music: We want additional musicians. Who should hire them?

Usually you will find more musicians yourself. Discuss with organists in our parish in good time.

Wedding service - taking photos: We want our wedding ceremony to be captured in pictures. Is that possible?

Basically, you should refrain from taking photos during the service so that the prayer and concentration on the essentials are not disturbed. But when entering the church and when leaving at the end of the wedding, you are welcome to take photos. After the wedding, the church is of course available for you to take photos. In the more relaxed atmosphere, the photos usually turn out much better.

Marriage saying: Must a marriage saying be chosen from the Bible, or can it also be verses from literature?

The marriage saying should be from the Bible. Because in the word of the Bible we hear the promises that God would like to make us humans for the ways of our life and therefore also for marriage.

Wedding ceremony: who determines the wedding ceremony?

You should do that yourself. Your pastor will help you with this. The Bible verses mentioned here on the homepage are just a few suggestions. Your own ideas and wishes are very welcome!

Wedding promise: We find the phrase "... until death do you part" inappropriate. Are there other promises to use?

Yes, there are a few variations. Choosing the right wedding vows is an important part of the wedding interview. According to the Church's understanding, marriage is permanent.

Preparations: Can we get married in church without a wedding interview?

No! Both partners take part in the wedding interview.

Preparations: What documents do we need for the wedding interview?

The couple's baptism dates, possibly also the register or the marriage certificate, if the civil marriage has already taken place.


Choice of Church: Can the wedding take place in a church of our choice?

The wedding should actually take place in the Protestant church where you live. That is usually the church with which you have something in common: your baptism, your confirmation, the church services that you experienced there. So it should be the church that you are "at home" in in some way. But the church of the future place of residence could also establish your relationship with the local community and make it clear to you that you are not alone on your life path.


Church Choice: Can We Celebrate the Wedding in a Private Home or Outdoors?

The evangelical wedding is a church service by the congregation. It is celebrated in the church.