What are your anxious habits

5 habits of fearful people

Last update: 16 January, 2018

There are parts of our personality that are actually not components, rather, they are a matter of attitude or habits that emerge and are retained as a result of anxiety and mix with our true personality. This mixture can be dangerous and even seem strange or rude to you, making your life difficult because other people judge you based on your behaviors without understanding what's going on in your head.

In this article I would like to propose an analysis of these habits. I do that, because such an analysis can help us deal better with our anxiety and our feelings. In addition, it allows us to get the best out of ourselves and discover our true personality.

"Fear drives us out of our minds, anxiety overrides it."

Kurt Goldstein

1. Apologize for everything

Anyone who is afraid has the feeling that he always messes with others, or, on the contrary, that he must constantly please his fellow men, and therefore he will apologize for everything. Apologies for everything and nothing are churned out, and that seems like a habit that is uncontrollable.

But the others also feel really uncomfortable because of this habit, which, like many others, is unhealthy and disturbing. It is unpleasant not to know what to face against someone who is apologizing for something unimportant, even for everyday situations that she cannot control.

2. Take everything very personally

This habit is closely related to the previous one. Every word is put on the gold scales. What has been said is thought of throughout the day and at every hour. It goes so far that even the smallest word is perceived as intrusive and annoyingalthough it was nothing more than a harmless comment.

Often this habit leads into a vicious circle: the person concerned is anxious and nervous because of a comment, and thinking about what has been said over and over again means that the fear never ends. To chase these thoughts away, sufferers choose behaviors such as showing gratitude or apologizing, which can also make them feel ridiculous - so that they become even more fearful.

"Worries do not drive away the pain of tomorrow, but the strength of today."

Corrie ten boom

3. Leaving places or failing to finish conversations

The fearfulness can “attack” the best of a person and gives rise to the habit of avoiding or fleeing a situation if he feels that it is overwhelming for him. Another consequence of fear is that the affected person focuses on them and their triggerswhich causes all other stimuli from their environment, such as those of a conversation, to be faded out.

It's not that those affected don't value the company of others. It is simply fear that overwhelms them, and the first solution they can come up with is to leave the scene or think of something else, even if that seems rude to others.

4. Fantasize and think of the worst

This is another habit that fearful people have. Although we have all thought of the worst scenario at certain moments in our lives or in certain situations, anxious individuals have a habit of overestimating the likelihood of the worst possible scenarios occurring. Constantly thinking about the worst case scenario can have physical and psychological consequences and lead to chronic fatigue. And on an interpersonal level, it can complicate relationships.

They believe that predicting the future will protect them, but it's the other way around, it only creates more fear, uncertainty, and increases anxiety. And because they focus exclusively on the bad, they enjoy nothing and the dreaded scenario often becomes a reality.

We can look at situations carefully and evaluate them in as much detail as possible. But we have to be clear that we cannot predict or know the future, what will happen, and that avoiding situations does not protect us from them, but allows us to enjoy things, people and life only to a limited extent.

“Every morning has two gates; we can enter the day through the gate of fear or through the gate of faith. "

Henry Ward Beecher

5. Take a long time to make a decision

Anxious people tend to analyze situations in minute detail, which makes it almost impossible for them to make a decision. This is the case even if the decision is simple and there is no good or bad choice, for example how to dress today or what to eat. This habit can not only become a problem for the person concerned, it can also become problematic in their workplace, in their relationship or in their relationship with their children.

Making decisions can scare us all because we are all afraid to be wrong. But the habit of carefully analyzing everything and avoiding making a decision is usually even more fearful than the fear of deciding maybe being wrong and having to correct yourself.

We can neither flee nor turn all the decisions we have to make to others. So it is an everyday task, the outcome of which is measured by various variables. Some of them we cannot control, like happiness. But there are others, like our attitudes, that we are very much in control of and that is what we need to focus on.

Bad habits create and nurture anxiety

What I have tried to show with this article is that the bad habits of fearful people can only add to fear. Just as we need to know the situations in which it arises, this is also the first step in avoiding it. It can also help to be open about this anxiety as soon as it hits us so that others can help us.

So, another important element in the face of these situations and habits is that it is unnecessary to face them alone. Anxious people, like many others, believe that no one can help them with their problems, or they are embarrassed to ask for help. But that is by no means the case. By sharing how we are feeling, we avoid people from making false assumptions about what is happening to us, and we make it easier for them to understand us.

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