Why do I feel so neglected
13 ways to stop feeling neglected by the one you love
Neglect can make you feel miserable, but if you want to get through it, here are 13 pieces of advice and don'ts to help you communicate with one another and get through.
If it's you Feeling neglected by someone close to you can leave you feeling lonely and wondering if you did something wrong. It's important to look at the situation objectively to determine what might be causing its hurtful behavior, so that you can get over it and cement the bond that you two share.
If you ever feel neglected, I'm not alone. It happens to the best couples, but recovery is all in the way you deal with it. Healthy, happy relationships take a lot of work and patience, and you should know that there are many things you can do when you are ignored by the one person who claims to love you the most.
Neglect is the worst feeling ever!
According to Dr. John M. Grohol, Psy.D. At PsychCentral.com, one of the surest ways to quickly ruin a relationship is to ignore your partner. In fact, it is often worse to be ignored than to be hated by someone. When someone ignores another person, it is essentially saying, "I don't care if I waste the exertion of anger on you." ?? According to Dr. Grohol will be doomed to failure.
Before you get excited, however, it's worth stepping back and looking at things from a different perspective. As I said earlier, there are things you can do to identify the problems and fix them before it's too late. Nobody likes feeling neglected, so read on to get a new perspective.
What to do to avoid feeling neglected
Nobody gets into a relationship with someone just to be ignored. If that were the case, we'd all go back and relive our high school days, right? No, I feel neglected and I ignore pain, so here are some things you can do when you find yourself in a relationship where you are being ignored.
# 1 First, look at your own behavior. Before jumping, take a minute to examine your own behavior. If your loved one is ignoring you, it could be due to something you did inadvertently to make them feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. Maybe you're too clingy or too pushy. It may just be that your partner needs some space every now and then.
# 2 Look at the situation from their perspective. It may well be that your partner's lack of attention has nothing to do with you in particular. Try to see things from their point of view. Maybe they are just busy or uncomfortable. Maybe they're tired or have a distracting family problem. It is important to consider all options when you are feeling neglected.
# 3 Slow it down a bit. If you feel neglected, give the other person a short break. Don't try to text or call her for an entire day. This gives them a chance to miss you and call or call you first. Also, try to stop texting or talking on the phone about trivial things, especially if they're going through a rough time or are busy.
By making yourself a little less available to your loved ones, you create a touch of mystery around you that leads them to wonder what you are up to.
# 4 Get out of your own mind. When someone ignores you, it's easy to get sad or even depressed. In a situation like this, it is best to get out of your head. Smile, be happy, and don't allow the other person's hurtful behavior to ruin your day. The happier you are, the more likely it is that people will draw you to you. Trust is sexy, so be the strong, confident type and people will find you extremely difficult to ignore.
# 5 Stay independent. Always have a backup plan for when your partner is unavailable. Go out with your friends or immerse yourself in a project. Throwing a compassionate party is not a way to spend precious time - and besides, it's good and healthy to lead a life that is independent from one another. It keeps you grounded, and when you have something to keep you occupied, you can't overestimate the situation.
# 6 Be honest about how you feel. One of the best ways to understand the situation and get over it is to confront the other person and just be honest about how you are feeling. Come out right now and ask them why they're ignoring you. Did you do or say something wrong, or is there some other reason? It could just be that they have no idea that they are neglecting you, and that you feel that way. In this situation, honesty and kindness are crucial.
# 7 Reconnect. Once you find out the reason for the neglect, you can begin to correct the problem. Try to reconnect by sharing your passions and interests. Give yourself enough time to chat and express yourself without interrupting the other if they are involved. Ask questions and be genuinely interested in what the other has to say.
# 8 R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Ask for it. If all of your attempts to be honest and reconnect with each other don't correct your loved one's neglectful ways, let them know that this way you will not be disregarded. Don't let her get away with it any further. They deserve better. Tell them that you both need to communicate better in order for the relationship to work.
What NOT to do when you feel neglected
When you are feeling neglected, there are certain things you should NOT be doing. Not:
# 1 Please excuse me. Unless you are 100 percent sure that your partner is cheating on you, lying to you, or violating the rules of your relationship in any way, never blame you. This can push them further away.
# 2 Jump to conclusions. You may be completely convinced that you know why your loved one is ignoring you, but never accept. You know what to say about adoption don't you? It makes an A-S-S out of U and M-E.
Don't jump to conclusions; you might be totally wrong or you might not know the full story.
# 3 ignore facts. If what your partner is telling you doesn't go together, pay attention. On the other hand, if your loved one is conveying in any way that they want help, be aware of that too. Get the facts and read between the lines if necessary.
# 4 Get defensive. Feeling neglected can certainly leave you feeling angry and hurt, but not going on the defensive. Whimpering, being needy, or trying to justify your behavior will not bring your loved one closer to you.
# 5 Play the victim. As much as your partner's neglect may seem like rejection, don't play the victim. Don't make the whole situation about yourself unless you know for sure that it's about you.
Feeling neglected by someone you love sucks - big time. But before you invoke it, find out the reason for the behavior and take steps to correct it. Ultimately, communication and collaboration to create positive change in your relationship builds a stronger connection that will last.
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