How to avoid your best friend

Escape Friendzone: How friendship becomes love

Are you only ankle-deep or have you reached the friend zone up to your ears? We'll give you instructions on how to dig yourself out and show your best female pals that you'd like to be more than just good friends - but you'll have to do most of the work yourself.

>>> In love with your best friend? What that means for your friendship

What is the friendzone?

A zone for friendship sounds nice at first. But it is not. Because this means the state in which person X wants more than friendship, but is not sure whether person Y wants that too or just wants to "just stay friends". In plain language, this means that one partner wants a platonic, the other a sexual relationship. A problem that apparently affects many people. The term originally comes from the series "Friends", in which the main character Joey uses it to describe his relationship dilemma. Even today, many men feel that his saying is understood.

How do I recognize the Friendzone? Why friendzone women?

There are different friendship zones:

  • The creeping friends zone

    They got to know each other relatively easily and are often out and about in groups. After a while you suddenly realize that you would actually much rather have her all to yourself and that you would like more than just "rubbing through your hair".
  • The missed moment zone

    You've been out a few times, but nothing specific ever happened. And now the moment for the first kiss seems to be over.
  • The replacement boyfriend friend zone

    She calls you about every little thing and always needs your help. This behavior is very one-sided and she doesn't even seem to notice how much you make a fool of yourself for her. This may mean she is unaware of how you feel about her, or she has purposely friendzoned you in a bad way. But how do you get out of there now?

>>> Are you ready for a mingle relationship?

How can I avoid the friendship zone? And are they only available in men?

Yes you can. And yes, women get friendzoned too. The solution is the same for both: take your fate into your own hands. Instead of passively accepting the situation, act to escape the friendship zone. But be careful: "Out of the friend zone" does not have to mean "Into the relationship". It can just as well mean "Into a true friendship" or simply an "Out of superficial friendship" for you. Even if you already know what you want, you should definitely check out what the woman wants.

Cookie Studio /
Do you stay realistic, is she really looking for your physical closeness or are you just imagining it?

>>> This is how you confess your feelings to a woman

And above all: Are you staying realistic, is she really looking for your physical closeness or are you unfortunately just imagining it? Rely on your gut instinct and if that says "Warning, the vibes are bad", then don't do it. Or: Are you telling her the truth for fear of losing her? And who should this help? If you want more, that's perfectly legitimate. Likewise if she doesn't want that. But you won't know that until you confess your feelings to her. Show her what you are feeling.

Your way out of the friend zone: Avoid these 9 typical male mistakes

Error 1: You are always available.

They are always there for her - for any ailments, help her move, vent the heating and get the following: "You are so great." Retreat is the order of the day. Go away for the weekend and make yourself scarce.

Mistake 2: You are her therapist.

They listen to their stories about other men. After that she will definitely not want to go into the box with you. Better focus the topic on common interests or suggest offering her a nicer date than the last fool.

Mistake 3: You only hang out in groups.

Stop it! It is better to plan a real date, which you then name as well. Then you can take over the bill and tell her: "It's a date after all". It is well known that love goes through the stomach.

Mistake 4: Your meetings are too casual.

Always chilling out on the couch as a couple, won't save you from the friend zone. You'd better take the initiative and introduce it to your friends. This is an important step in becoming part of the other person's everyday life and a first step before introducing the family. Before doing this, however, you should have a conversation about your relationship.

Mistake 5: you're texting yourself all the time.

How about a phone call? It's a lot more intimate. Specifically, you ask, "If you'd rather come over, I'd like to see you."

Mistake 6: You're Not Paying Her Good Compliments.

Her friends already give her a compliment on the new sweater, but today no one has made it clear to her how good she smells. And how attractive it simply is. There are tons of ways to compliment her special.

>>> How to address women correctly

Mistake 7: they don't get close.

If you don't get the feeling that she's comfortable around you, it is sometimes easier to ask: May I take your hand? Simply kissing them without warning can also be seen as a breach of trust in friendship.

> >> The best flirting sayings for men

Mistake 8: They don't exchange caresses.

Of course, that shouldn't be a French kiss! Start with a back massage. If she purrs like a little kitten, venture out a little. Is it as stiff as a board? Then don't bother her too much, but ask why it is.

Mistake 9: You don't make clear announcements.

Don't hesitate any longer, tell her in a familiar moment: "I want more from you and this friendship."

Conclusion: get out of the friend zone with clear announcements

Make it really clear to your best friend that she has been your dream woman for life for a long time. What if your beloved says no? At least you now have certainty! And more time for sports and to look around at Tinder & Co. Look at it this way: After a basket, you can finally speak to other women again, or for a change you can simply be wooed.

And the friendship? It's up to you: Can you manage to have a friendship despite the basket? If the answer is no, accept this fact: end the friendship. If the answer is yes, you should establish clear rules. Example: Friendly cuddling is taboo. After all, there are also male and female friendships that work.

This article may contain links to providers from whom MEN'S HEALTH receives a commission. These links are marked with the following icon: