Why is immaturity attractive to some men

Why men like "terrible" women ... and the nice ones often look in vain for a man


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  1. It's a shame that the article leaves one aspect uncommented: people adopt (unhealthy) behavior patterns. If a man is attracted to complicated or even bossy women, it is because he knows this from his mother and feels familiar with it. This is how the brain works.
    So if a woman is diplomatic and likes harmony and kind, appreciative behavior, then she can do without a man who works off his bad behavior on her.

  2. Hello,
    1 1/2 years ago I wrote a comment on this page. At that time, after a year of intensive advertising and showing extreme interest in me, my beloved suddenly told me that he only wanted me to be a good friend, whom he could lay flat if it suits him professionally. He is still suffering from the separation of his parents 17 years ago. (We are both over 30.) Although I felt very strong affection for him, my pride was deeply hurt. I felt fooled and didn't want to be abused as his blanket. So I immediately broke off all contact with the man I was incredibly in love with. I really wanted to become a terrible woman as defined in the above report, so as not to be hurt like this again. In the beginning it worked like clockwork. My crush begged, pleaded and scolded what I had. He would have been honest with me and nothing to blame. I pulled the contact lock by ice cold. My anger at him and at my naivete about his advances at the time gave me the boost I needed. I've been doing a lot of sports ever since and lost 15 kilos. I take care of my youth hobbies that I have neglected since I started working. I go out alone, went on vacation to Ibiza alone and have some non-binding adventures with men who are open to the fact that they just want an adventure ... But to be honest, I can't get my crush out of my head. At first I thought that I was just missing his attention, but I miss him on a human level because we were very good at talking about all kinds of things and we have the same weird sense of humor. He sent me WhatsApp messages after a year and then again yesterday with our typical sense of humor, but I'm not yet strong enough to answer im and see him again. I will continue to block contacts for another six months and if he is still looking for my company, I will suggest that we get to know each other again, this time slowly. Even though we're both in our mid-30s, we both still have to mature into a potential relationship.

  3. I just came across the site and just give it a try with a comment.
    I've just been in a relationship for almost six years. After the breakup, I logged on to the internet, met men and got to know someone. This man is so very different from my ex-boyfriend. Actually, I didn't want a relationship at first, but as it happens sometimes, you meet someone and you're blown away. We have known and met for 4/5 months. I haven't been so happy lately, unfortunately I belong to the category of woman “too nice”, I find it very difficult to turn that off. Lately I've been asking primarily about meetings and we usually see each other no more than once a week, which I find absolutely not enough. I've already confronted him with the fact that I would like more interest from his side. He works at least 6 days a week, sometimes 7 days, and thinks he doesn't have much time and is often exhausted. What can I do, I have no idea I find him very attractive and have a lot of interest in him. Does anyone have any good advice for me?

    Thank you, I am grateful for advice.

  4. Dear Carmen,
    I often felt like you. After the last bitter disappointment last summer (my dream man was also a worcaholic and just wanted me as a suggestion box that he can lay flat during his lunch break) I set out on the rocky road to develop into a "terrible" woman .
    To you: I think that you have to be content with this one day a week for the time being. Then give him specific suggestions for that day about what you would like to do with him. It has to be something that you BOTH enjoy (no idea: cycling, hiking, amusement park, swimming, going to an extraordinary restaurant ...) and distracting him from his "stressful" work week ;-). So he combines fun and relaxation with you and then wants to spend more time with you at some point,
    Get in touch with him as little as possible, in the meantime do something else that distracts you (sewing, handicrafts, painting, gardening, fitness) ... and when he gets in touch, be easy and relaxed, even if it's difficult). In the best case scenario, you then show - genuinely pretended - interest in his work and then you end the phone call first.
    My film tip: "The naked truth" (is also on Youtube)

    Good luck, everything will be fine 🙂

  5. Hello,
    I live in a long-distance relationship and my partner is very down to earth and warm. He doesn't complain if I'm unavailable for a day. He then writes something like “It's a shame that I couldn't get in touch with you. Sleep well. Kiss. “And then sleep through the night. He's not open to attack, but I don't want to complain to him about him either. I don't want to get into this role of the needy. I have the feeling that it is his duty to write at least something like that to me. He doesn't take on much for me and is also very interested in his business. I know that I would have to support him as a good woman so that he sees more in us - which he says he does very well, but I don't really feel it. He doesn't run after me even though I know what I want. How can I get more attention from them in a long distance relationship? It's always in my head when I'm cheeky or dismissive as it says in the guide, not much remains in a long-distance relationship. How can I ignite his passion over this distance without turning him away completely or always being nice and nice on the phone. Even when I have guys over he says he has a strange feeling but he trusts me without complaining. He is wonderful but I lack his greed and fire. I am grateful for every tip.
    Kind regards, Yvonne

  6. Dear Carmen,
    just read your letter. It struck me quite spontaneously that you are not writing anything about yourself. What do you do for a living? What color is your hair or what do you do when you have free time? How do you live?
    You tell about the man, what he does and is.
    You are the most important person in your life !!!!! Live your life!
    The man, whoever it is, is just the company.

    I've been divorced for 12 years, the separation from my husband and my beloved son almost cost me my life.
    Today I am an attractive successful woman, living happily in a beautiful apartment. Drive a fancy car, earn a lot more than my ex husband. Have bright eyes and platinum blonde hair. In a word, I enjoy my life!
    Yes I am single. I would never take a man who left his wife and children. Or even thinks that everything is so great, his children comb every fortnight.
    These are the failures of our society!
    Better a happy single life than such a failure by my side.
    Believe it or not, there are a lot of men who would love to go with me.

    If I ever share my wonderful life with a man, it has to be a particularly great man. Since I don't believe in miracles, I am happy about my beautiful life every day.

    Greetings from Tuttlingen.


  7. Hello,

    Well, I only recently heard from Christian Sander and I think all the tips are just awesome! It was only by chance that I found out that I am automatically such a "terrible" woman: -DDD with an additional bonus - not ugly. And I do these things automatically even before I've read this and I don't think that's terrible at all, it's both fun to flirt and to fuel a possible relationship. Something like this just happened to me. The guy says I'm driving him crazy ... I will now use the tips even more consciously 🙂

  8. "And don't ask yourself any more whether you might be stepping on someone else's feet with this."
    That sentence touched me the most ... because that's what happened to me. I have often asked myself how others are doing, and I have often tried to please others. With the result that others were fine and not me.

    I will definitely not become selfish or mean, and women shouldn't become that either, they should only take care of themselves and not allow themselves to be exploited, and believe that if they do everything for a man that they will be loved.

  9. Hello Mr. Sander,

    I've known a woman for years. This woman does not correspond at all to the characteristics that women usually have, more masculine characteristics, more like
    with which one would do something. I was immortalized in this woman then
    In the meantime I've met a new woman, but it's still at the very beginning. My question, how should I behave towards her? Normal ?, just approaching everything, holding back feelings? Don't tell about past relationships, ex partners? I also believe that this time it is one of the "nice women"
    I don't know you enough yet. I want to be open, be myself and if possible completely avoid playing games. If things are going well, you like me, then it should last a long time, then I'm ready for a relationship.
    Just don't be fooled, don't be fooled either
    z,: B when I have to leave for work, when I don't see you that often.

    Problems can be solved, only with difficulty if you have an image attached to you, if you play along badly. Will you believe me She hasn't even told me about her ex, etc.

    Maybe you can give Mr. Sander tips on the net, or I'll get in touch with you,
    as soon as it matters, before I lose you, in time.

    Thanks for some contributions and greetings "Jimmy"

  10. I don't understand why one should pretend to impress men.
    It is much more important that you take care of yourself, that you are doing well and that you maintain your self-respect. In my experience, a man usually does not give you back what you invest in the relationship, at most that is taken for granted. Therefore, you always have to take good care of yourself and take care of yourself.
    This is the only reason why I think of myself and take care of myself, don't let myself be bothered or annoyed.
    That has absolutely nothing to do with being there for each other in a partnership.
    If you have agreed that taking out garbage is his job and he just doesn't stick to it, I'll leave the garbage behind, I'm not his mom or I'm cleaning. if he takes it to the extreme, he can count on my collar bursting and I dumping the garbage in front of his car door so that he can no longer get in.
    If he's sick or asks me to do it today, that's something completely different.
    To be there for one another: of course. But you really don't have to let yourself be blatantly exploited.

  11. It may be that the method works, but it is a matter of time before the house of cards collapses …… .or both partners use the same strategy:) haha.
    All well and good up to the last sentence:

    It doesn't really have to be, what kind of marriage is that supposed to be?
    > WOMAN: Jo darling .. go to the disco with a work colleague today and sleep with him if it's not too late.
    > Man: Ok baby.

    In a relationship, COMMUNICATION is important. You can talk about anything.
    The sound makes the music!

  12. It's about getting to know ... not a marriage ...

  13. @Ekaterina,
    your method will likely work relatively well as long as you are in the early stages of a relationship. What interests me: how is it in Russia when you are married, live together or have children together?

  14. @ safi: your comment is spoken from my heart, thank you !!

  15. I have been reading this guide for a long time, but recently I met a man whom I unconsciously showed both sides to, but he is probably a particularly stubborn specimen. I'm not sure that this will work for him. At the moment it's radio silence and I don't know exactly whether I should wait, take the first step or just forget it. I think everyone should act like they are, because if they don't like you like that, they don't deserve you any other way! LG

  16. I find the tips very promising, but you should keep in mind that something like this only works if the potential partner finds you attractive at all (from the outside).
    Because I don't think that, despite the lack of attraction, someone will fall in love with me just because I behave as you have described!

  17. So it describes me 1 to 1 ... and I have to say it works ... I was never left and my relationships were really nice and even when they came to an end I never regretted anything, because I often did what was right for me was !! currently. I'm forgiven again, he's someone who also has a very strong character and knows exactly what he wants! hmm, I already have a bit of a stomachache ...

  18. oh soooo that's why I like the men so well haha ​​:-)

  19. hey
    Letting out the bad little witch seems to be well received by many men, but for how long does a woman manage to be like that? and isn't that bending for the partner too? Have been in a rather turbulent relationship lately. Since my last two relationships always ended up on the same heartbreaking methods, I didn't care about anything afterwards. That's why I chatted with various guys for a while but none of them ever saw me. No matter how hard you tried. And after at least a month I was rid of them. As I noticed, I had no desire to be ripped off by a guy who wasn't seriously interested in me. But there was a particularly stubborn one who, although I had even deleted him twice, hadn't left him alone. Since I had to hit the pain in the ass with the long thread of patience and now? we're still together But the scam with the witch has lost its effect because my friend is just as stubborn a donkey as I. In the beginning my stubbornness, the withdrawal and all things maybe attractive, but now it annoys him animal. That's why a turbulent relationship and that's why I would advise not to take on the role permanently, but only now and then. At some point it just sucks.
    Lg jade

  20. Hey everyone!

    For example, if I have a date with a guy and you get along well and are on the same wavelength, does it even make sense to play such a game?
    I mean, if the chemistry is right, then you don't need that at all and just WANT to see the other person again as soon as possible. I don't know how it is with men, but if you got along so well and the other one does not get back to you until after 100 years, I would be disappointed and would think, well, he probably didn't have as much fun as I did ...

  21. What can a woman do - whose husband is cheating on her?

  22. I think that every woman has both sides in her - a little witch and a loving caring woman. And each side has to be left out and neither of the two can be suppressed. And men need both - they need to be encouraged and to be hunters; but they also need tenderness and security. Someone who always behaves like a bitch or an unreachable princess will only strain every man in the long run; but with someone who is always just loving and nice, he gets bored in the long run. In my opinion, the best thing for the man is a change from these two sides. And it's not so difficult for a woman to give him this variety, because she has both in her, both belong to a woman's nature; she just has to listen to herself.

  23. Hello Mr. Sander!

    Your article inspired me to think about the attraction a bad friend and a bad friend have to me. Now I can switch reason in between and move on. I'm happy about that.


  24. Well, with the "terrible" women, here I know an extreme example:
    She says that he cuddles, she forbids him to visit his / her mother or father in the hospital, he obeys, she is constantly cheating, even inviting her lover into the house, he accepts everything. He's eating out of his wife's hand, so to speak.
    That's bondage, isn't it?

  25. We could all have it a lot easier .. dear Mr. Sander-unfortunately YOUR book would then be superfluous .. in another form of society without marriage but in a network of matriarchy where women live out their social skills among each other .. love, support and strength - der Man can live out his function as a guest or visitor and is relieved - women then no longer need to worry about BEIWERK .. You have your network and social network - are independent of the male gender and are happy!
    In other cultures this is still lived with success today :-))
    Divorces would be superfluous ... and out of date!

  26. If a man only enters into a relationship with me because I'm like a witch, he doesn't deserve me at all. No woman should be persuaded that she is unattractive just because she has heart and is able to think about the welfare of others. This is more about power and dependencies than about love and self-determination. Fear of real feelings comes to mind.

  27. everything sounds conclusive, the only question is how well * woman * is doing at this game. personally, I'm never really fine with it. make me rare so that the man stays interested. do not report me so that the man reports. these games contradict my nature. i want to do what i want, when i'm longing, i want to get rid of it and let my partner feel it too. if he cannot handle it or if it becomes too much for him, it is probably not the right partner.

    for men there is often only black or white, why we women are so stupidly equipped in our brains to see intermediate tones ... no idea. I would often like to be a man from a technical point of view, then I would not think so much about what would happen if, but would just let it come to me.

    but precisely because i don't think like a man, i will never act like a man either. and whether the bad girls are necessarily happier is an open question.

    i want a partner who is willing to let go of his desires and if he does that 5 times a day. I want to give whenever I want but also take and receive. and other games can play ...

  28. I go absolutely conform with you.
    Tried this game too ...
    but the disguise is not for me.
    Ultimately, you are just fooling yourself and your partner.
    Something like that won't work in the long run.
    I wish you and everyone in this forum that they find a partner,
    who loves him as he is.

  29. dear women, if you act like this you are not “bad” girls. i am confident, strong women who know what they want. every man wants something like that, because then he hopes to be able to stay with her. no self-confident man wants a woman who does what he says. because then he always has the feeling “if another man comes along who is more intrusive, then she does what he says and is gone”.

    Dear women, take what is right for you in life, be honest with your partner and above all with yourself. also be selfish in the relationship without being hurtful or destroying trust. say LIVE your life and be free and that with a partner.

    “Good” men will appreciate that. bad men make you stress. Ekaterina described VERY well how to do it.

    only one thing: as a woman it is not important to sit like a mouse in the corner and wait for the prince to speak to you! if you act like that, just the guys who are looking for a mouse come!

  30. Now I have all the comments or views from top to bottom and only Safi's one convinces me completely. Everything else is cheese that only grinds down !!!!

  31. @ Ekaterina: I think that is a well-functioning strategy to make yourself interesting in the initial phase, but not particularly viable for a long-term relationship - it then depends on significantly different aspects. I agree with you that one of the main pillars of a relationship is the fact that everyone stands on their own two feet - financial and emotional dependency is a big problem, but not unavoidable at times, especially in family contexts and long-term relationships. Likewise, nothing is more boring in relationships in the long run than someone who always jumps according to the wishes of the partner - but that applies to both sides. I don't know of any relationship that works permanently when a woman plays the eternal bitch, as you describe her, and is unable to compromise. In my experience, being a bitch irritates men only at the beginning of getting to know each other and if they have not yet settled inwardly themselves (then maybe also has to do with the man's own degree of maturity and the woman must then already be on this immaturity), it is permanent rather off-putting and annoying for men. Long-term relationships thrive on the ability to adequately take into account the contrary need structures of both partners and to balance the relationship between give and take. Ultimately, it is the question of what goal you enter into a relationship with. If it is only about a temporary relationship, your strategy may work - if the intention is more to have a long-term companion by your side, your strategy means constant stress and sounds more like a pathological relationship pattern (woman = bitch, man = dachshund> For me it is more of a very immature and unemancipated relationship pattern and therefore you may not come across it that often in the West (even if it is lived often, but you can see the stress of the dissatisfaction of both relationship partners over the years) and as a woman you have to one is also already into this male type).

  32. Ekatarina !!! Thank you for your comment!! Perfect summary! :)
    a question: do you never contact him? Do you always leave him
    In the text it sounds like the man has to do everything and the woman nothing ..
    I always think that the man might then. Doesn't think I have any interest?
    Greetings, you helped me a lot.

  33. Hello,

    it is so!!

    I've done everything wrong in my long marriage. - after reading this, I am now doing as Ekatarina and Mr Sander recommend. Very successful!
    Even educated men are simply knitted, so we cannot give them complicated formulas.
    Some are right, everything is highly manipulative, but if the men want it that way. You're welcome.

    I am happy when it sparks, but does not pop and thanks to this treatment iron I have been in a real, very refreshing shower of sparks for many months now 😉

    Greetings Doris

  34. Hello,
    I thought I finally found the right man after 4 years of being alone.
    The first few weeks went well between us, but then suddenly he stopped calling. After a week of silence, he got in touch by text message, saying that his last 3 bez had been stamped on him in such a way that he no longer wanted any kind of bond and had nothing to do with me, but I still have Such a gut feeling that the last word has not yet been spoken and he will contact me again. I have not contacted him again since the said text message (in no way). But how can I win it back?
    I don't want to just give him up without a fight.
    I ask for advice. best regards

  35. Hello,
    What do you think of the following story? I've known a man for two years, we're having an affair, we are to more - were we then!? - both not ready because we both had bad experiences. We're both free. However, if we see each other - not agreed - and I talk or dance with another man, he is near me and asks me what I want with "that". Somehow a kind of protective instinct comes out, but not bad. Kind of like he wanted to protect me from bad experiences. I always ask myself whether he wants to save me from something or just egotistically to have me to himself. We can talk to each other about all kinds of topics, he is intelligent, we can laugh well, maybe the feelings have changed ... I don't know. In any case, he doesn't want a relationship, but I'm not allowed to get to know anyone else either?
    But I don't understand it, isn't it an affair? He used to always flee when women wanted children from him and now he says he is looking for a woman to have children with her. I already have some (I'm divorced) and he wants to try, but doesn't know if he will succeed….
    Ask for your opinion, thank you very much.

  36. 100% true - with the idiots. And what about after two, four or seven years of relationship? Do I have to make such an effort as a woman and leave my husband in the dark and treat him “badly”? The most important thing when looking for a partner is who to choose. Because there are good men! I can only recommend that you listen inside when you get to know someone. Do you feel warmth and security or insecurity and rejection in your chest. Choose the one where you feel warm and secure and don't waste time with others. I mean waiting 3 weeks for him to call is a pain and a waste of time and not to be confused with giving up. It is important to represent your own interests in a relationship, but without hurting the other. I know what I'm talking about. My husband called a few hours after the first date. If I want to assert my own interests, then he listens to me, tries to understand me and to follow my interests or to find a common solution. And, he tells me at least 10 times a day that I am a beautiful woman (although objectively, I am actually not) and that he loves me…. and that for many years. I am grateful that after a few "failed attempts" I met this wonderful, generous person.

  37. Finally there is someone who says how it should be!

    Great !!! - Everything is really true and it works!
    I speak from ’terrible‘ experience. Hi…

    Thank you, dear Mr. Sander.

    Best regards

  38. Dear Mr. Sander
    I do not know if I should laugh or cry!!!! Exactly my situation ... my ex-partner made one of these "bad girls" his partner. She withdraws when it suits her, the saying "you stress me" "you constrict me" have already been used in the first two months. Today he says about me I'm too dear to him, too nice ...
    Shall we all become "bad girls" now ????

    Greetings from Switzerland

  39. great! So it is!

    best regards
    hedi the terrible! >: ->

  40. dear mr sandner,
    so ekatarina you are really right. but unfortunately it is not as easy as i think. i met a man who is 13 years older than me. so i am 20 and he is 33. he has 3 children and is divorced. but unfortunately i can do not understand his behavior towards me, he says that he is in love with me, that he can imagine a future with me, but he needs time to be able to deal with his past.hääää ... .. he always calls, always wants to see me says he likes me so much, kisses me everything is great, well, to get to the actual topic, why is it wrong to meet with him who he calls, to also tell him that you like him, and why shouldn't you just get in touch with him for a few days ???? so I find all of this confusing ...... and I don't even know how to behave, hopefully you have good advice for me, mr. sandner

    best regards from austria

  41. i came across this website for the first time and got stuck on the annoying topic of men, which i usually prefer to push away from myself in order to pursue other interests. sounds a lot of work, and I've probably always done most of the wrong things. Sometimes I suspected it was "better" (?), but didn't have the coolness to behave accordingly, ie not to show my sympathy or to take what I want from a man without knowing whether he was terrible thinks, I have been told by men that I was “borderline violating” and then it is difficult for me to judge whether I have really behaved wrongly. The whole thing seems like a big minefield to me, and every experience is so disturbing that I can't expose myself to it often if I still want to function. I have male friends / mates, most of whom would like to have more of me, so I obviously behave "right", a feat when I'm not interested! If I fall in love it never works, I have no nerve for this balancing act in which it is teeming with fat pods, you can always do something fundamentally wrong, to hold out until a reasonably stable success. how is this stress supposed to be fun? With closeness in general there have always been problems in my life. I just cannot perceive it as a casual game and therefore hardly radiate the casual lightness that is apparently indispensable in order to interest a love partner.
    I really don't like playing games of having to portray the desirable prey - couldn't the men decide instead to leave the stone age with its archaic remains behind? If the idiocy of war and power turns into something more suitable for survival, the world is certainly well served. It is actually annoying that I am unfortunately not a lesbian, because the men with their millennia-old, rather unfounded arrogance, one read, apart from today's examples, sometimes historical literature, have by no means deserved all this effort! ! But I would also like to have another option than, as an answer, to deal cynically with any feelings that may exist in individual cases, rare (with the “male” men) you don't have to quit right away.! Funny, if you are supposed to be attractive because you behave in a way that does not correspond to your own nature. Is the man really so stupid that he doesn't notice that the pretended unreachability is just pretended, i.e. shows the opposite? how do you feel when you condescend yourself to such a level? just so that men find one interesting ... always the same boring scheme? aren't you getting to know that? Well, there is little imagination in this hormone nonsense. Moreover, something in me is reluctant to get involved in a certain definition of “frausein”. a man is not primarily defined by the fact that he is desirable for women, but the woman is usually rated according to it!
    When I kid men, be ironic, whatever happens from time to time, imposing themselves on them, as far as I can tell, they do not react carried away, as one should think according to the hunting logic, but seriously angry, they feel trodden on their toes and i can hear a lot about my recklessness, my egoism, my neuroses after all. could it be that these allegations also express interest? The result was always either a break (because I withdrew insecure) or a war because I countered. the idea that the man could still appreciate me and find me interesting, however, never occurred to me. i myself don't like when men are too clingy, which i have already experienced, but i like when they are naturally open, nice and humorous and show spirit and depth, i.e. substance, not show! . You don't need to be macho, I'm not a chick either. power games don't turn me on! Negative flirtation, when a man does not show sympathy at all or through contrary, insulting behavior, I do not find attractive, but it makes me angry. Sorry, that was a long time. and that too, of all things, on this topic ... (shake head ...; - \)


  42. Wonderful. Write a guidebook for men! That's exactly how I experience it :-)

  43. Ekaterina,
    I also find your comment amusing / remarkable and I absolutely agree with you.
    I (instinctively) did everything right: More than 30 years of exciting marriage are the best evidence that unfortunately ended with the death of my partner.
    I came across this site by chance and can only recommend all women to heed at least some (if possible, as many as possible) of Ekatarina's good advice.
    Don't "bend"!
    You are guaranteed not to win your dream man if you hang on to his "skirt tip".
    Wish you all great successes!

  44. Simply great this report from Ekaterine! Your mother is so right, my mother said that to me too! Love is something valuable and it should stay that way! Yes and men should be able to wait, then it's the right one if he doesn't forget about it very quickly!

  45. you shouldn't give your heart away to someone so quickly without knowing what's going to happen with it, loving is a nice feeling but to be loved, believe me, it's nicer, if you would do everything for your body why not then with the thoughts of the men play, turn into a bad girl.

  46. Hello Ekaterina,

    This is exactly how it is, if you are too interested in him, then you become uninteresting!
    I know from my own experience, even if it sounds stupid, so it's best to always give the cold shoulder.

  47. I'm not a bad girl, and I don't think that's what men are into either. I'm actually a love, but have a mind of my own, don't let myself be treated stupidly and have too much pride to even come up with the idea of ​​chasing a man. To be honest, I don't understand the women who do that.

  48. Ekaterina,
    The best manual I have ever read :))
    Your mother is right, today women no longer know how to be "women".

  49. Ekaterina, I have to say: you wrote a great summary of the whole website 😀

    I like it! I have to copy that and save it 😉


  50. Hi,
    I came across this website by chance and read it with interest. I myself am from russia and my mom was often surprised at the behavior of most women “in the west” :-). she then always says: "Nowadays women just don't know how to deal with men."
    It's as simple as that: if he calls, he calls, if not, then not. patience! (after the 1st or 2nd date it sometimes takes up to 3 weeks :-). easy, it's best to have a few irons in the fire - or at least pretend
    Let the man do everything, run after you. you don't even have to call back ... if he really wants to speak to you, he tries 10 times a day :-)
    Does he want to see you right away? haaallooohooo ... ?? !! are you always available? he should report as early as possible, at least 3 days in advance. he compliments you, is planning the summer vacation? Well! don't wallow along, show joy, but remember: these are only words. And take your time with sex. Golden rule. why should you buy a cow that you can milk for free? :-) the feeling of having the first kiss will make up for the waiting ... because finally: he can kiss you ;-). and: have a life of its own - it should adapt to you, not the other way around. Don't clothe him with your problems - better: listen to him, have fun, laugh. if he loves you and wears you on his hands, you can still tell him about your post-traumatic depression.
    If you let the man conquer YOU, you always know where you are. if he doesn't call then he doesn't care or thinks about you. whatever, you don't care, the fact is: he doesn't answer. live your life. or do you want a man who is not interested in you? -and no: he is not to be shy :-) if a man wants to, he will put all the levers in motion to meet you!
    And remember: look at how he acts - treats you, and not what he says! if he behaves disrespectfully: serve him up! (depending on the degree of severity, he deserves a single chance!)
    You are a wonderful, valuable person and you only deserve the best.
    And besides, you always keep your pride ... -Always let him fight for you, make an effort, even within the relationship ... this is not a game, but an attitude, have your own interests, goals, friends. and be romantic when there is time: everything in good time :-) that makes you self-confident - in your eyes and in the eyes of others. you don't need to be a nasty bitch for that.


  52. Hello Christian:),
    there are really good tips and many can be implemented super, apparently sometimes games are necessary;)
    @ Maria ... no, you don't have to lose faith in love, just think more about yourself and ask yourself what you want ... and the more you show the man how much you love him, the less he wants him to be then actually on the run, because you are safe for him!
    There is a saying that if you find that you are riding a dead horse, dismount!

    Wishing you all the best!


  53. Hello Mr. Sander,
    I haven't read that much yet, but what I've read is probably 100% correct. the 4th comment above me sounds logical, but it is difficult to understand from the woman's point of view.
    i have changed so often now - everyone else only says positively - and now i'm reading here, you have to be a "bad girl" in this world ... how can you not completely lose faith in love. : -S
    I got to know a man who left me more and more to the left the more I "run after" him .. and tell him that I would love and need him.
    it even seems to me that he is getting colder and colder. he has interests that i don't share with him, and unfortunately they are more important to him.
    don't really know at the moment if this is the right man for me. I would have liked it. first read the lines about the attraction of women because of sex. will be so. only when i notice that i am not being found attractive, when i have "struggled" for months and invested energy, then i sometimes wonder whether a man is worth sacrificing his thoughts, his time and his energy . when there is no appreciation or respect. I think I'm not the only woman who wants that.