How much friendship is too much

Too many friends? When friendship becomes a stress factor

Too many friends? That's pure luxury. Or the pure stress factor, as our editor feels ...

I already know what you are thinking now. I can hear the adjectives you are using to mentally describe me right now whispering in my ear: Arrogant. Spoiled. Unworldly. Nevertheless you are still there and reading this text. Maybe you're just curious what kind of person dares to complain about too many friends, when others die of loneliness (believe me, that works even in spite of the huge circle of friends). Or you will find yourself again. Maybe you feel the same way.

Do you sometimes feel like you are one of those Slimy toys that are so beautifully flexible and that you can pull on from either side - until its core becomes thinner and more transparent between the forces?

Welcome to my head I'm slimy

I'm always there, taking the form you need right now - and sometimes losing myself in the process. Then I have the feeling that I have too many friends. I can't keep up. And sometimes the needs of those around me are more important to me than my own. Then a large group of friends that others see as a luxury becomes a problem.

The first time I felt the problem was when I finished my studies. When I started working, my friends lived in a completely different bubble. While I was sitting at my desk, messages from our group chat kept popping up on my cell phone. They asked who would like to play a game of table tennis. Who would come to the park after university and have a barbecue. My friends made a cold drink for themselves. I do the next article.

Friendship, the business with a guilty conscience

I had less time than the others. What my friends made me feel with dearly meant but reproachful taunts. That's when I felt it for the first time: my guilty conscience. My friends' schedule slowly adjusted to mine. The feelings stayed.

I've always had individual friends in addition to my circle of friends. People I would like to meet alone in addition to the group. To talk to them about the really important things. But that takes time. And I miss that.

Don't get me wrong: I love human relationships. Probably a little too much, because that's my problem: I want to give everything to each of my friends. And a little more. I want to cultivate friendships, share everything with them, have an open ear, experience ups and downs together. Each of my friends earns so much from the time I have so little of - so that I always carry the bad conscience that I shouldered with me after finishing my studies.

Is there an adult guide for good friendship ?!

I know what you are saying now: Then don't complain, but prioritize. I am trying. If it weren't for the problem with my second passion, which is justice. But yeah, I'm trying. Even so, there are evenings when I stare at the unanswered messages on my phone and wonder: How the hell do you manage to be a good friend to everyone as an adult ?! Does anyone have a timetable for me? Then always bring it on! For starters, I will now send this text to each of my friends. Because then they know that the reason I curse them sometimes is just because I love them too much to give them all the time I want.